Sometimes I wreck things so bad that I am sure irreparable relational damage has been done. Like, last night my son came home 10 minutes late and I hyper-overreacted in a detrimental and hurtful way.
I can explain it but am incapable of justifying it. I was sad, angry and depressed. My negative emotions were in a high state of agitation because of something that didn’t go the way I hoped it would earlier in the day. I made a poor choice and took my anger out on my children.
Now the shame and embarrassment overwhelm me and I find it hard to live with myself. I wish I could leave me.
Mistakes like this are all too common for me. I am a storm that often shipwrecks those whom I love the most.
The upside of mistakes of this nature are difficult to see, but are there if I search diligently.
The truth is that I am fallible and susceptible to making many mistakes. I have often believed a lie that says that I am capable of making an infinite number of perfect choices and that no one will get hurt by my actions.
The truth is that I am not perfect. I am lost and despite my most hopeful and positive intentions I will make mistakes that hurt others. I don’t want to be this way and it’s not fate that stops me, it’s my lack of divinity that is the cause of my delinquency.
The truth is, I am not God. To know this is often essential in finding the truth.